Will the real TRANSPORTER please stand up!
As a franchise, TRANSPORTERâ€™s best days may be over. I mean, seriously, these flicks are so over-the-top bad, they were good for what they were. In many ways a lot of it is owed to Jason Statham. So refueling them (total pun) can be understood, but a TRANSPORTER flick without the original, stone-faced hero is like sex without cumming. Who wants that?
Meet the new Transporter, ladies and gentleman!
Known to the French Rivieraâ€™s criminal underworld as the best driver money can buy, soft-spoken Frank Martin (Ed Skrein) will deliver anything for a price. He abides by three simple rules: no names, no questions and no renegotiations. But the rules go out the window when he is tricked by gorgeous femme-fatale Anna (Loan Chabanol) into driving the getaway car for a brilliant bank robbery. Racing through the streets of Monaco in a state-of-the-art Audi, Frank unwittingly becomes personally entangled in a scheme to bring down Yuri (Yuri Kolokolnikov), the Russian human trafficker who forced Anna into prostitution 15 years ago.
Enticing, right? Ehâ€¦ Not so much.
Coming off more like an Audi commercial on steroids, a predictableÂ REFUELEDÂ defies all cinematic logic. (I know, what movie doesnâ€™t?) But it makes up for itÂ with unique action sequences (one that entails a fight utilizing file cabinets, or a pretty cool moving plane escape), a dull (with the exception of Ray Stevenson) cast, and a cat-and-mouse chase using backdrops of the French Riveraâ€™s most gorgeous locations. Other than that, nothing about it is effective. Empty calorie.
After the first forty-five minutes I just wanted this to be over. Kinda like the feeling when you canâ€™t wait to spit out that piece of gum youâ€™ve been chewing on for a while.Â
As a whole, the movie looks beautiful. But beauty isnâ€™t quality. Hell, coming off similar to HITMAN in many ways, at least HITMAN had a bit of a better, structured plot. And that wasnâ€™t the best-of-the-best either. Of course beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, but not much can be expected when an [unofficial] superhero flick like TRANSPORTER is left for the end of the summer. Trying to reignite this flame will be difficult considering its gigantic shoes to fill.
Grade: C- / Genre: Action, Adventure, Reboot / Rated: PG-13 / Run Time: 1:35
Starring: Ed Skrein, Loan Chabanol, Ray Stevenson
Directed by: Camille Delamarre